WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER

 

WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER (nothing to do with Tonbridge but thought it was worth sharing on a chilly Friday night!)

  If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when 

  you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, 

 first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. 

 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date 

  that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. 

 There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! 

 She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken 

 her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah . It was a day 

 trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met 

 before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed 

  home late that afternoon.. 

 They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to 

 realize that she should not have had that extra hot chocolate. They were about an 

 hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her 

 companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. 

 Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point 

 where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, 

 or it would be the front seat of his car 

 They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants 

 down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let 

 her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.. 

 Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed 

 was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.. All she could think about 

 was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the 

  situation. 

 Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she 

 bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were 

 firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles 

 immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the 

 icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to 

 the extreme cold. 

  Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she 

  answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply 

  that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! 

 He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and 

 then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out 

 laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose 

 themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the 

 situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. 

 Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the 

 grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her 

 into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there 

 was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first 

 time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. 

 As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands 

 down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first 

 date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning 

 to being ****ed off.' 

  Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was 

  sitting next to her on the Leno show.